Freefall, and float

The Avowal

As swimmers dare

to lie face to sky

and water bears them,

as hawks rest upon air

and air sustains them,

so would I learn to attain

freefall, and float

into Creator Spirit’s deep embrace,

knowing no effort earns

that all-surrounding grace.

-Denise Levertov

The weeks between eclipses, planets joining together for the first time in centuries, a bad flu, anxiety, post holiday sugar crash…It hasn’t been the vibrant beginning to 2020 that I envisioned last month, but, as these things go, I see that I am right where I need to be. Back to the basics; mediation, soup, sleep, breath, trust, and faith.

With little appetite for over two weeks, I eat broth and bread. All I want to wear are sweatpants and a closet full of  unworn clothing seems absurd. I find it suddenly easy to discard books, dishes, and clothes and scarves once held onto so tightly.

The news makes me cry and I have to ration my intake. Fire and war, climate change, primaries, and extinction.  No way to figure it all out at 3 a.m.

A work trip looms on the horizon; one month in LA, the first such trip in a year. A message arrives-  it is a lovely project with kind and organized producers and cast. This eases some of the anxiety.

I am being guided and there is nothing to figure out. One step at a time. Simplicity. Do what we can. Sleep. Nourish. Care. The reminder that “no effort earns that all surrounding grace”. Just being is enough.


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