The Avowal
As swimmers dare
to lie face to sky
and water bears them,
as hawks rest upon air
and air sustains them,
so would I learn to attain
freefall, and float
into Creator Spirit’s deep embrace,
knowing no effort earns
that all-surrounding grace.
-Denise Levertov
The weeks between eclipses, planets joining together for the first time in centuries, a bad flu, anxiety, post holiday sugar crash…It hasn’t been the vibrant beginning to 2020 that I envisioned last month, but, as these things go, I see that I am right where I need to be. Back to the basics; mediation, soup, sleep, breath, trust, and faith.
With little appetite for over two weeks, I eat broth and bread. All I want to wear are sweatpants and a closet full of unworn clothing seems absurd. I find it suddenly easy to discard books, dishes, and clothes and scarves once held onto so tightly.
The news makes me cry and I have to ration my intake. Fire and war, climate change, primaries, and extinction. No way to figure it all out at 3 a.m.
A work trip looms on the horizon; one month in LA, the first such trip in a year. A message arrives- it is a lovely project with kind and organized producers and cast. This eases some of the anxiety.
I am being guided and there is nothing to figure out. One step at a time. Simplicity. Do what we can. Sleep. Nourish. Care. The reminder that “no effort earns that all surrounding grace”. Just being is enough.
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