I’ve been off for almost a month and, besides attending the writing class I signed up for, feel that I’ve done very little of what I set out to accomplish with this time. I haven’t consistently gone to yoga or organized my studio or sat in my studio and made a bunch of stuff like I’d planned.
But, what I have done is begin to calm down, get still, and just be. I bought a hammock and a stack of books, which I devour by the week. It reminds me of the summer between 7th and 8th grade when I sat on the front porch rationing pages of “Gone with the Wind” until finally it had to end, at which point I simply started it again. Somewhere along the way, reading went from necessity to luxury in my life and this summer I plan to reverse that trend.
After living on the adrenaline high of a film set for months, it can be difficult to see how being is just as important as doing, if not more so. One month into my “self funded sebattical” and I’m only beginning to unwind. I look at the titles that caught my eye in the bookstore and I see a theme- stillness. It is where we find the answers and the inspiration. The answer being that our only job is to be our most authentic selves and that once we understand that, all else will fall into place. I like what these ladies are saying.
In addition to reading, I’ve been gardening, cooking, and meditating; all things that are quickly ignored and forgotten when life gets crazy and chaotic, but which do more for my health than all of the supplements, acupuncturists, and massages combined.
As I lie here wondering how to make a living from reading, swinging, writing, creating, traveling, and imagining, I realize that’s not for me to figure out. All I need is to keep doing the things I enjoy, make time and space for them, and trust that the next little clue will appear if I’m still enough to notice.