Finally!

Aries: (or insert your sign here)
Be on the lookout for money falling from the sky or for a long lost relative leaving you an Italian villa on Tuesday, when Venus lands on top of Jupiter. On Wednesday, Saturn will leave your sign for the next sixty years, taking with it all hardship associated with this planet. A job opportunity that combines the perfect blend of creative flexibility, structure, and that will pay you more money than you’ll know what to do with, will appear on Thursday. As the moon lights your eighteenth house of social revelry and merriment, you’ll be the It girl at every party you attend and the invitations just won’t stop. Opportunities for travel to exotic lands will appear mid month, be ready to grab ahold. A lover or partner will be in the mood for romance all month and communications should flow seamlessly. All of the questions and uncertainties in every area of your life will be answered by the end of the month and you will live happily ever after.