Pandemic Party Tips/41

I’ve had some strange birthdays in my life, many actually, but something tells me 41 might be the most bizarre yet.  Stranger than sitting through a five hour long Wagner opera with the flu while on a trip to Germany when I turned 18, weirder than turning 15 in London with my English pen pal, and more bizarre than my 31st, when I was yelled at by a not to be named First AD for “talking behind camera” and ended up crying in a porta potty (just so we are clear, the camera department was wishing me happy birthday and I was simply responding thank you, but anyway….)

So, as I sit in my house, pondering life, cake, and puzzles, I thought I would give not only my Aries cohorts some birthday party tips, but also, from the looks of it, my Taurus and Gemini friends as well.

*First, wash your hands.

1* wear something you haven’t worn in the past three weeks or preferably in the last year. I’m wearing a dress I’ve literally never worn and it goes perfect with my old purple slippers.

2*bake a cake with whatever weird ingredients are still in the pantry.

3*shamelessly tell everyone that it’s your birthday so that they call you, then act surprised when they do.

4*make a party hat.

5*listen to music, not the news.

6*dance in the kitchen.

7*wash your hands.

8*collapse on couch.

9*stare at wall.

10*stare at Pinterest and pin exotic trip locales to your post pandemic visionboard.

11*remember that it’s all going to be okay.

12*dump puzzle onto table.

13*alternate staring at puzzle pieces and at wall.

14*make cookies to go with cake.

15*laugh because if you don’t you’re going to cry.

16*breathe.

17*go for another walk. (I’m so sorry that some of you are unable to partake in this one, truly.)

18*buy yourself a present.

19*attend zoom birthday party hosted by your awesome sister.

20*cry.

21*remind yourself that it’s all going to be okay.

22*open champagne that’s been in your fridge since your boyfriend brought it over on New Year’s Eve, 2018.

23*turn up music.

24*dance some more.

25*remember that this too shall pass.

26*wash your hands.

27*don’t touch your face.