Today I planned to write something about how, after the past week’s worth of insane news stories, I want to fight fascism by using every ounce of my energy and resources to find beauty in the everyday and to remind others to do the same. Those who can find beauty in life, don’t have time for hate.
But, as I sat down to my computer to think of a thesis, a friend texted that there was an active shooter at the Trader Joe’s in Silver Lake, less than a mile from my home and where I spend roughly 94% of my Saturday afternoons. Today I was tired and it was hot and I didn’t feel like driving there. Customers and employees are currently escaping through a window at the back, down a ladder thrown up by LAPD, and are running away from the entrance. And instead of writing, I am watching this through a live feed on my computer.
You think you know which way is up until, as you compare the price of Cheddar to Swiss, a car robbery gone wrong crashes in front of the store and a desperate man with a gun enters.
You think you know which way is up, until the President if the United States takes the side of Vladimir Putin over that of his own Intelligence Agencies, then denies he did that, though you know you saw it and heard it yourself, and then denies that he denied it, until you don’t know what happened and begin to doubt your own sanity. Or you scream.
I was shushed on set this week, something that doesn’t happen often. “You’re so quiet” is a comment I often hear, though maybe not when with my mother, sister, or a few choice friends. Normally I don’t get shushed. But, Helsinki made me scream. While reading the news on my phone in the dark coolness of a soundstage, I had to go outside, have a sip of water, and calm down before I ruined the take.
I still hear helicopters circling outside. The sirens have subsided for now, though most of my neighborhood directly north is surrounded by LAPD.
Another reminder that we never really know which way is up. I’m about to pick up a friend and go to a photography show. There might be food or wine. If there is, I will eat it and drink it. When I make eye contact with someone, I will smile. I will support the artists, the writers, the thinkers, the comedians, the journalists, and all those who seek beauty and truth. I will continue to believe that there is more goodness than evil and more love than fear around us. And as the world spins and up is down and down is up, if there is music, I’ll dance.
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Photo taken by me of a photo taken by Rebekah Potter.