I’ve had some strange birthdays in my life, many actually, but something tells me 41 might be the most bizarre yet. Stranger than sitting through a five hour long Wagner opera with the flu while on a trip to Germany when I turned 18, weirder than turning 15 in London with my English pen pal, and more bizarre than my 31st, when I was yelled at by a not to be named First AD for “talking behind camera” and ended up crying in a porta potty (just so we are clear, the camera department was wishing me happy birthday and I was simply responding thank you, but anyway….)
So, as I sit in my house, pondering life, cake, and puzzles, I thought I would give not only my Aries cohorts some birthday party tips, but also, from the looks of it, my Taurus and Gemini friends as well.
*First, wash your hands.
1* wear something you haven’t worn in the past three weeks or preferably in the last year. I’m wearing a dress I’ve literally never worn and it goes perfect with my old purple slippers.
2*bake a cake with whatever weird ingredients are still in the pantry.
3*shamelessly tell everyone that it’s your birthday so that they call you, then act surprised when they do.
4*make a party hat.
5*listen to music, not the news.
6*dance in the kitchen.
7*wash your hands.
8*collapse on couch.
9*stare at wall.
10*stare at Pinterest and pin exotic trip locales to your post pandemic visionboard.
11*remember that it’s all going to be okay.
12*dump puzzle onto table.
13*alternate staring at puzzle pieces and at wall.
14*make cookies to go with cake.
15*laugh because if you don’t you’re going to cry.
17*go for another walk. (I’m so sorry that some of you are unable to partake in this one, truly.)
18*buy yourself a present.
19*attend zoom birthday party hosted by your awesome sister.
21*remind yourself that it’s all going to be okay.
22*open champagne that’s been in your fridge since your boyfriend brought it over on New Year’s Eve, 2018.
23*turn up music.
24*dance some more.
25*remember that this too shall pass.
26*wash your hands.
27*don’t touch your face.