Embrace It.

IMG_2881.JPGI have had a hard time sleeping for the past couple of weeks and for anyone who knows me, or reads this blog,  that could sound like old news. But, it is actually new news! Instead of lying in bed full of what ifs and how is this going to work and the like,  it feels like an army of fireflies has invaded my body and is having a dance party while holding lit sparklers. I can feel the energy of possibility, adventure, change, and magic coursing through my veins and pulsing from brain to heart to gut. For the first time in a long time, I can see how A led to B and then to C and a new sense of clarity and purpose is taking hold.

While in the Advanced Course at MITT (mittraining.com), I committed to creating an integrated life. I came to realize how compartmentalized much of my thinking had become and how self limiting and sabotaging that was.  Instead of placing creativity  in one box, making a living in another, sense of community in that one over there, and love somewhere next to it, I want one big, full, integrated life which encompasses them all.

What do I do that brings me gratification and joy? What do I do when no one is paying me to do it, just because I want to? What do I love about my life right now and what do I want to change about it? Where do I see myself in one, five, or twenty years?

It is very easy for me to belittle the answers to these questions with a quick “well, doesn’t everyone do or want that?” or  “but, that’s just me messing around,” rather than realizing that not everyone loves taking photos and playing around with photo apps on their phone for hours, arranging beautiful spaces, writing about their experiences, thinking about what it means to be a human/spiritual being, sharing recipes, and trying to create beauty in the world on a daily basis. At times I think, “oh, but that’s all too random and I should focus on just one thing. What do photos, home decor, spirituality, food, and beauty have to do with each other?” Well, in my experience, everything! They make me happy to be alive. And, I know I am not alone.

For the first time, I feel clear that there is a reason I have the interests and passions I do and that they are not to be taken for granted, belittled, or ignored, but rather embraced, as yours are. They can and will benefit both myself and the world if I just let go of the need for it all to look a certain way and trust that by being my authentic self, I will create the integration, impact, and joy I desire. It is already happening.


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The Gift of Mail


I recently arrived home to find a small, salmon notice from the post office in my mail box. It informed me that I had a package waiting, but that I had to pay $3.77 in postage to pick it up. Under comments it just said “green wallet”. As I actually thought might happen, a nice person came upon the wallet I left on top of my car a few weeks ago, wrote my name and address on a sticker adhered to the wallet, and placed it in a mail box, leaving it to me and the USPS to take it from there. Based on the somewhat shaky, but neat, cursive penmanship, I guessed it was an elderly woman who took the time to do this.

It got me thinking about how much I love the USPS.
Taken almost completely for granted and lately referred to mostly for their financial woes, this institution has been delivering everything from wallets to honey bees to love letters and letters to Santa for as long as this country has existed.

As a child, I was an avid letter writer. My parents taught me to write thank you notes, post cards from vacations, and let me know that the best way to receive mail was to be the first to send it. With my creative spelling and pictures, I kept up with grandparents and aunts who lived out of town.

In the second grade, my teacher gave us a list of schools in foreign countries that had students who wished to become pen pals with students in my school. Always fascinated by kings, queens, and knights, I chose England and was one of only a few students to receive a letter in response. Patty and I continued to write through our teens, meeting twice, and making it into our early 20s before losing touch. Thinking that was that, several years later I was contacted by a woman on Facebook whose last name I didn’t recognize, only to realize it was Patty, and, with updated contact info, the Christmas cards resumed. It is a bit ironic that it was the world of instant messaging that brought us back together, so our snail mail could continue.

Because there is little actual need for paper mail in a reality of online bill pay and email, it makes a letter, postcard, or package that much more dear, a gift rather than a necessity. Coming across a handwritten envelope amongst the stacks of credit card applications, coupons, and bills, is truly one of the greatest and simplest pleasures I can think of. It is a little token, there for no other reason than to say “In our fast paced world, I took the time to write and send this, hoping it makes you happy.”