HBD, Smagik!

Six years ago I created this blog as an exercise to find beauty in the everyday. It was a dreary, February day and I needed a self induced push and reason to get off the couch. By creating the goal of finding or eating or going to or doing something beautiful, delicious, fun, and joyful everyday, my life began to take on these same qualities. Small, everyday, easy to take for granted moments took on a new significance simply by being noticed and appreciated.

Thank you for joining me on the journey! And here’s to many more years of Adventure, Joy, Connection, and to finding the beauty in all of our everydays!

If you enjoy these posts, please enter your email to follow Smagik.com and please comment and share!

@smagikstudio

Pollyanna’s Pissed

For the past couple of years, and weeks, I have yo-yoed between the consumption of constant news and social media concerning our current political situation and then, after the nausea, anger, and anxiety take over, backing away, going into withdrawal, consuming none, and feeling better. I struggle with the need to feel informed and the reality that the news and social media seem to lead me in circles, frustration consumes me, and nothing is actually accomplished.

I recently saw a post on Instagram that said “I am no longer accepting the things I can not change but changing the things I can no longer accept.” As a frequent utterer of the serenity prayer,

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference

and though I appreciate the sentiment behind the Instagram post, I was left feeling slightly panicked about where to begin. I can not control the patriarchy and people who vote against their own self interest repeatedly. I can’t control the electoral college and climate change and the white misogynists who currently run our country.

It feels too big. Injustice so huge that the entire foundation of our country needs to shift in order for it to change.

So, once again, what can I control?

Where and how I spend my money, whether I vote, how I volunteer, contribute, am involved, and educate myself, how I creatively interact with the world, the energy I bring to all situations, my choices, whether or not I choose to see the glass as half full or half empty, and whether or not I wake up each morning and decide to try all over again. For fear of sounding like a Pollyanna, always looking for goodness, and as someone who is not comfortable with anger (I’m working on it), sometimes it really is just a shit sandwich and I have a hard, if not impossible, time finding any beauty. But, I keep looking. (I know some of you are rolling your eyes. That’s ok.)

At the moment I am grateful for the anger which will hopefully encourage more people out of their complacency and to the polls on November 6th (check your current voter registration even if you have never moved and always vote in every election), for the comedians, journalists, and artists who every day come up with new material to help me process, laugh, and think my way through the day, and I’m grateful for the courage of Dr. Ford.

No matter how ugly it is, none of it is new, but we are waking up and finally turning over the rocks. Only now, after it’s been exposed to the light, can things change. And they have only ever changed once a bunch of people were fed up enough to say “Nope. Time’s Up.” Never has that change started at the top.

If you enjoy these posts, please follow Smagik.com and please share!

Weekend

Wet legs. Sandy feet. Salty hair. Unplug. Drive west. Breathe deep. Get burned. Sit in traffic. $20 to park. Watch the longboard competition. Calm down. Another deep breath. 83 degrees. Cool breeze, salty air. Sunday. Enjoy. If you enjoy these posts, please follow Smagik.com and please comment and share.

The Beauty

    Today I planned to write something about how, after the past week’s worth of insane news stories, I want to fight fascism by using every ounce of my energy and resources to find beauty in the everyday and to remind others to do the same. Those who can find beauty in life, don’t have time for hate.
    But, as I sat down to my computer to think of a thesis, a friend texted that there was an active shooter at the Trader Joe’s in Silver Lake, less than a mile from my home and where I spend roughly 94% of my Saturday afternoons. Today I was tired and it was hot and I didn’t feel like driving there. Customers and employees are currently escaping through a window at the back, down a ladder thrown up by LAPD, and are running away from the entrance. And instead of writing, I am watching this through a live feed on my computer.
    You think you know which way is up until, as you compare the price of Cheddar to Swiss, a car robbery gone wrong crashes in front of the store and a desperate man with a gun enters.
    You think you know which way is up, until the President if the United States takes the side of Vladimir Putin over that of his own Intelligence Agencies, then denies he did that, though you know you saw it and heard it yourself, and then denies that he denied it, until you don’t know what happened and begin to doubt your own sanity. Or you scream.
    I was shushed on set this week, something that doesn’t happen often. “You’re so quiet” is a comment I often hear, though maybe not when with my mother, sister, or a few choice friends. Normally I don’t get shushed. But, Helsinki made me scream. While reading the news on my phone in the dark coolness of a soundstage, I had to go outside, have a sip of water, and calm down before I ruined the take.
    I still hear helicopters circling outside. The sirens have subsided for now, though most of my neighborhood directly north is surrounded by LAPD.
    Another reminder that we never really know which way is up. I’m about to pick up a friend and go to a photography show. There might be food or wine. If there is, I will eat it and drink it. When I make eye contact with someone, I will smile. I will support the artists, the writers, the thinkers, the comedians, the journalists, and all those who seek beauty and truth.  I will continue to believe that there is more goodness than evil and more love than fear around us. And as the world spins and up is down and down is up, if there is music, I’ll dance.
    If you enjoy these posts, please follow Smagik.com and please comment and share!
    Photo taken by me of a photo taken by Rebekah Potter.

When the world trips over itself to make you smile.

Do you ever feel like the world is tripping over itself to show you its beauty, make you laugh, excite you, nourish you, and wake you up, but that, until you’re ready, open, present, and willing, the effort goes unnoticed?

My sister recommends the perfect book that is exactly what I need to read, this relates to the radio show I happen to hear while driving to work, which happens to be down the PCH at sunrise, after which my favorite song begins to play, etc, etc, etc. (Not to belittle the magic, but there have been too many of these moments to mention).

Let go. All roads lead to letting go. Every book, every podcast, every teacher. Let go. Let it flow.

Fly. Trust.

Ok world, I hear you, thank you.

If you enjoy these posts, please follow Smagik.com and please share!

Peace

 

-The Peace of Wild Things-

When despair for the world grows in me

and I wake in the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children’s

lives may be,

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water, and the

great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things

who do not tax their lives with

forethought

of grief. I come into the presence of still

water.

And I feel above me the day-blind stars

waiting for their light. For a time

I rest in the grace of the world, and am

free.

-Wendell Berry

IMG_4583

Happy Earth Day from Smagik.com!

 

 

The Winding Road

We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

-Joseph Campbell

IMG_4326

Yesterday I stood on the edge of grassy cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean and thought about Joseph Campbell’s words, as salty wind whipped my hair and wildflowers rustled my jeans. With my car parked on the shoulder of Highway 1, somewhere between Carmel and Big Sur, California, I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be but also wondered how I had gotten there. Thirty nine, no children, no pets, no husband, a career that won’t let me break up with it no matter how many times I try and for which I am grateful, a month on location in one of the most spectacular places on earth, a full weekend to myself, too may hobbies to count, and a mixture of gratitude, wonder, and uncertainty.

Is this it? Does everyone look around, at their life, and ask that question, not as one of lack, but out of curiosity?

Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.

-Mary Oliver

I am not actually sure what the life I planned looked like. I wanted to be everything from an actress, to a window dresser, linguist, and writer. I assumed marriage and children would just happen though I never thought too much about it. They still might. I don’t know where I saw myself living or what exactly I saw myself doing, I just assumed that one morning I would wake up, look around, and think “oh good, finally figured it out and now it all makes sense.” HAAA!

IMG_4283

On Friday I sat in the front seat of the car carrying a famous actress to a movie set. To my right the sun was beginning to set over the Pacific Ocean and, as we curved around the famous 17 Mile Drive, through Pacific Grove and into Carmel, news about President Trump’s decision to launch missiles into Syria played over the radio. Heaven and hell all in one surreal, twenty minute drive.

How do we let go of how we thought it would be, so we can be present and have gratitude for what is actually happening in our lives, moment by moment, and thereby be of service to ourselves and others?

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive. And go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

-Howard Thurman

What makes me come alive? Getting in my car with my camera on an empty day with no agenda other than to drive, take pictures of what I see, listen to music as I go, and share the beauty that I find with others. Though finding beauty on California Highway 1 is actually unavoidable, I have as much fun doing the same in Georgia, LA, Colorado or wherever else my job and life take me. IMG_4329

I wake, whether in my LA apartment or any number of hotel rooms, knowing that I want to help make the world a more beautiful place and to help others find the beauty in their lives and I wake with a certainty that I can and will do this, though the specifics remain vague. As I let go of the hows, things fall into place and my life becomes a creative adventure that I, along with the universe, am creating one day and decision at at time.

Back of every creation, supporting it like an arch, is faith. Enthusiasm is nothing: it comes and goes. But if one believes, then miracles occur.

-Henry Miller

Faith. Faith that there is a plan bigger than anything my little imagination can conjure up. Faith that we are always being guided and presented with the next right choice, so long as we are present enough to see it. As I repeatedly let go of my ideas about how it should be and accept how it is, I wake more often feeling that I actually am figuring it out and being let in on the secret.

Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.

-Rumi

Yesterday’s Theme Song- Astral Plane on Valerie June’s album The Order of Time. Snack- sweet potato corn chips, bought at a little camping supply grocery store in the redwoods of Big Sur. Smell- salty, woody, grassy air.

IMG_4327

The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.

Henry Miller

If you enjoy these posts, please follow smagik.com and please share!

39

Love after Love

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

-Derek Walcott

IMG_3963I’ve loved this poem since the first time I heard it, years ago. That idea of coming home to yourself and saying “oh, hello there, look at all of this awesomeness I have been too preoccupied to notice. Hello life, hello self, hello world, hello beauty, hello late night moments of contentment, morning stretches, new songs, old recipes, friends…

Today is my birthday and all I can say is thank you for the clarity that grows a bit stronger every year….the idea of time as a spiral rather than a straight line, a journey that can be mistaken for going in circles until one realizes the lessons lead us around until learned, but always go deeper, never really repeating…the certainty that my intuition is always right, even when I choose to ignore it… the realization that my four/ten/eighteen year old selves knew what they wanted and I am simply coming back to that certainty now…the soul will have its way.

IMG_3967

39.

Soundtrack… Boxer Rebellion-Ghost Alive

Diet…Waffles

Exercise…Dance, Laughter

Destinations…Biarritz, Portugal, Bruges

Goals…Love, Draping, Embroidery, Dog, Patternmaking, Presence, Gratitude

Color…Pink

Currency… Abundant Prosperity

Tarot Card…Queen of Wands

Advice…Let Go

Muah!

IMG_3962

If you enjoy these posts, please follow smagik.com and please share!