smagik

It didn’t really dawn on me until recently that throughout historically “difficult” times, “normal” life carried on in its “make doctor’s appointments, cook dinner, run errands” kind of humdrum way right along side of the history making chaos and destruction I learned about in class. And in writing that I realize that I am in a privileged group of people who have not had my city, neighborhood, or life turned upside down by outside forces over which I have little to no control. Grocery shopping, work trips, and weekend track meets run along side news stories in which people are being detained and searched for no legal reason, disappeared, and even killed and I find it hard to care about what to make for dinner that night. And yet, I know it all matters and I do care.

Every year I get a beautifully hand printed calendar from 10 Grand Press (10grandpress.com) and for years have used the discarded pages to wrap presents, make cards, and cover books. This year as I ripped off January’s page, I thought of all that had happened in 31 days; New Years resolutions begun, one doctor’s appointment, one work trip to Los Angeles, hundreds of protests against ICE, multiple corporate boycotts, two murdered Americans, hundreds of detained children, thousands of kidnapped people, 31 dinners, 31 breakfasts, 31 sleeps, one walk on the beach, two amazing museum exhibits in LA (Monuments at MOCA and Tavares Strachan’s The Day Tomorrow Began at LACMA), a few visits with friends, a bunch of walks with my boyfriend and my dog, and all the other stuff that makes up life, not to be taken for granted but often forgotten. That was just January, I thought. Whoa.

As a student of Astrology, I am well aware that since 2025, we are in a world changing time frame from which nothing will emerge as “it” was or as we are used to “it” being. Everything everywhere all at once (maybe 2022’s Oscar winner for best picture was trying to warn us?!) seems to be crumbling as the rot in the foundations upon which we built so many of our institutions and structures rises to the surface in an undeniable way. And, also, these are still the days of our lives and dinner is only a few hours away…

I don’t think the chaos is going to end any time soon, so how to steady myself in the midst of it? I am doing it by repeatedly reminding myself of the power I do have and though it feels like very little, it actually does add up. I am trying to make or do something everyday that does not include consumption whether that be calendar paintings, yard work, making valentines to send to friends in the actual mail, unsubscribing from music and movie streaming services, attending local protests against the proposed sale of our local utility company Blackstone, or thinking about something good to make for dinner. One per week or one per day, over and over.

On January 30th I had five hours between checking out of my place and catching a flight home from LA. It was one week after the murder of Alex Pretti and the day chosen for a national economic strike and to avoid spending any money while killing time in the world, I went to a beach not far from LAX and lay on the sand. I got my feet wet and watched birds and kids frolic and I felt the warm sun on my face. This is what I can do today, I thought. Tomorrow will be another day with all of its horrors, beauty, chores, joys, and news and when I wake up I will meet it.