I’m sitting in an airport for the third time this month, reading my horoscope. Home, home, home. My fourth house is all lit up, hitting the domestic vibes/homefront notes for the next month, just in time to be outside of Atlanta, for work, living in a hotel. So, how to avoid going crazy and give myself those homey vibes, while on the road? What does home mean? Where is my home?
I recently had a reassuring realization while in Northern California for a couple of weeks, again for work and again living in a hotel. I missed LA. Having only lived there for six months, after repeatedly trying to adapt for ten years and but always eventually fleeing for the clean air and calm of my previous home, New Mexico, this was a huge shift. And a welcome one. I missed the assortment of healthy food, the mass of stuff to do on weekends, the hipster adventuror spirit which can be both annoying and awesome, my classes, friends, apartment, stuff and my morning routine. I was officially homesick for my new city. So, that’s a good thing!
But, what to do to create home when away? My yoga mat, many books, music, a big bag of food and tea, journal, and tarot cards are traveling with. I’m heading out with an open attitude and belief that seeing different parts of the country and world will give me some good stories to tell and a greater appreciation of my own city when I return next month.
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to cherish a desire with anticipation : to want something to happen or be true
to desire with expectation of obtainment or fulfillment.
to expect with confidence :trust
“I hope you can let this go.” -President Trump to Former FBI Director Comey.
The platform of Hope upon which President Obama ran in 2008 and 2012.
Hope or Trust.
I have looked at and said the word Hope so many times today that it no longer looks or sounds like a word, you know what I mean? What is it? And what if, just what if, hope is actually what is causing our country to stumble right now? As I rolled this word around in my head, I kept coming back to its implied passivity, a wait and see attitude that can lead to doing nothing or, worse, to expecting others to do it and then acting like a victim if they don’t. What about the hope that coal mines will come back, that global warming is a Chinese hoax, or that going backwards is ever an option? As much as I love the optimism it can carry, hope has doubt at its core and there is no getting around it.
What if, instead, we choose trust? Trust in ourselves and our communities and in the idea of working together, for each other and with each other, to move towards a common goal? What if we begin to demand that kind of reliability within all of our relationships, including those with our government? I have faith in this country and know that we are better than the hoping/wishing/waiting/ burying our head in the sand and crossing our fingers that things will improve trap we seem to have fallen into. I don’t know that hope is serving us well and think it is time to switch it up. Just a thought.
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